Join The Cult!

We’ve never started a cult before, but here’s what we understand.

1. We need to accept money in advance for services not yet rendered.

2. We realize uniforms are important for cults, shirts will be issued immediately upon joining. Uniform options at checkout.

3. Psychological manipulation as well as pressure strategies are necessary.

4. We want your money.

5. Record manufacturing takes time. Show your faith by exercising patience.

After signing up, a prophet will reach out to you and ask for your member name and photo for your official Member Identification Card.

A cult with two leaders, this’ll go well.

Prove your faith to the cult by joining now.

Sincerely,
Both Prophets